The Southron 'Ah'
By far the trickiest thing to master for imitators of a southern English accent is when to use a short, front 'a' and a long, back 'a'¹, which I will henceforth transcribe as A and Ah. A long time ago, southern English underwent a sound change called the Trap-Bath Split; the language now uses both of these vowels, and they're not in free variation; if you use the wrong vowel in a word people will think you're weird.
So what's the rule here? How do we know when to say A and when to say Ah? Perhaps it has something to do with sonorance? If you listen to a speaker from London, you'll notice they'll always say cat, bag, gap and dad, but never caht, bahg, gahp and dahd. If we consider only monosyllabic words ending in stops, it seems that there's a rule here regarding 'softness'; a hard ending in a segment leads to a hardening of the vowel. But this all falls apart when we consider fricatives: the southern 'grass' is always pronounced grahss, but 'gas' is never pronounced gahs. 'Mask' is always mahsk, but 'mascot' is only ever mascot.
Here's another one: 'chaff' is always chaff, but 'bath' (which ends in an [f] for many southern speakers) is always bahth (or bahf, consequently rhyming with 'barf').
Perhaps there is a rule regarding the length of the word? Well, we have 'ant', which only ever said ant, and then we 'fantasy', which would never be fahntasy. To make matters worse, people always say advahntage. So we have a short word with A, a long word with A, and a long word with Ah -- length definitely doesn't do anything here.
So sonorance, voicing, and syllable count have no bearing on which vowel to use. It seems that there truly is no phonological rule behind the Southron Ah; the distribution is seemingly completely random. At the same time, if you get this vowel wrong, people will be very confused, and possibly even laugh at you. The Trap-Bath Split renders English spelling even more nonsensical than usual, making the southern English accents a poor choice for a prestige dialect. I know that Europeans are often taught Southron English, so I'm quite curious as to how foreign language teachers navigate the Southron 'Ah'; do students pick it up quite quickly, or do they tend to stumble while reaching for the right vowel to use?
Without any underlying phonological rule behind the usage of these two vowels, the addition of new words leads to an interesting tug-of-war between pronunciations. Take, for example, the word 'trans' -- a word which has rapidly, perhaps even violently, entered the lexicon of the average English speaker in the 2020s. You will hear some southern speakers saying trans, and others saying trahns. The former seems to have now mostly won out against the latter, perhaps to better distinguish from 'trance' -- the pronunciations trahns and trahnce form a minimal pair, where the only sound distinguishing the two is the voicing at the end of trahns; the pronunciation trans keeps these two words further distinguished.
If you're practising this kind of accent, for whatever reason, all I can really say is good luck. Language is fascinating, and it so often makes no sense at all. Tune in next time, where I talk about how Scottish Standard English is a Koiné language perfectly suited to international communication.
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